Life brings its ups and its downs. It seems like I've been stuck in a progressive downward spiral since June. Nothing's been going my way. And just when it seems to be that it is, I ruin it and mix everything all up. But ya know, this time around, I don't want to cry. I don't want to hurt. I just want to prevail above all this. However, I think I have to do this alone. I have to figure out what went wrong, how to fix it; How to apologize. I'm sorry to this person and I wish they'd accept my apology. I respect them like they cannot imagine. If only they could read this right now. To see my pain, to see my sympathy, to see my respect and unconditional love. I never meant to be what I had become. Ever. I became my worst nightmare. And I wish I could take it all back. I wish that person could see this to know, that if we cannot pick up where we left off, then can we start anew and just put this behind us? Why is forgiveness so difficult? Why is talking so difficult? I'm not sure. I need time. I need You. I love You.